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A gentle reminder
By Moriah on August 15th, 2008
When I went to the chiropractor the other day, I was served a gentle parenting reminder that I thought I might pass on.
Drew and Madeline had fallen asleep on the drive out there. I was able to park right next to the clinic door, which was most convenient. I gave Adelaide a bottle and everything was quiet, so I went in to see if maybe the nurse/receptionist could keep her eye on the kids in the car while I had my appointment.
And they’ve done this for me before. The last time I was in a lot of pain and couldn’t physically pick up my kids very well (they were small at the time). So the nurse had sat in the driver’s seat and we left everyone buckled in. No children running around the waiting room worked great for everyone.
So today I was hoping that we could do that again. And we did; everything was fine. But the doctor gave me a more or less stern lecture on leaving children in the car unattended.
Any careful and concerned parent would never leave a child in the car on a hot day or in a busy, crowded, public place where the point of business is far away.
But it’s sometimes easy to justify quickly running in to the gas station, where the car is in full view the entire time. Or picking up a pizza immediately inside fully-windowed doors. Or, in my case, at the chiropractic clinic where my car is right next to the office door and no one else is around. And Tuesday was an unusually mild day—there was even a cool breeze.
And did I mention my kids were asleep?
He said that our area’s Department of Child and Family Services has recently gotten more “politically correct” and have taken several children away from parents that left them alone in vehicles no matter the period of time or the circumstances. And it would be at least 6 months before those parents could get their children back.
Which, even if you are certain the circumstances would be safe, is just not worth the risk.
(Which is also why, later that day, I wrestled with my three inside Papa John’s for fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes of near-hell, but at least I still have my kids!)
15 Responses to “A gentle reminder”
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A woman in our congregation was almost arrested in a nearby town for leaving her kids in the car while she popped into a thrift store.
Yeah I have really wanted to do this on several occasions, but no matter how inconvenient it is to get them out to run in somewhere I just have to do it. I would feel AWFUL if I did that and something terrible happened. I would much rather be inconvenienced, as I’m sure we all would.
And it’s so much MORE inconvenient with three, the last of which is at the very curious 16-month stage!
I never get my kids out of the car to drop off books at the library. It always makes me feel like a bad mom, but it goes ten time faster. Guess I will have to rethink things a bit. Thanks!
in my hometown someone just got arrested for leaving her child in the car for 10 min, she now has felony charges pending and is facing up to 5 yrs in prison. Plus the department of children and families took her kid away from her. she was on the news and everything. she was in the military and her career is ruined. you should NEVER EVER leave your kids in the car.
Government intervention again. So sad. Do you remember the stroller thing, in Europe? In Europe, parents will leave their babies, asleep in their strollers, on the sidewalk while they go in for a bite of lunch. A poor European couple tried that here in the US, and the police were down their throats.
It really is a cultural thing. Your kids were perfectly safe. That’s your job. It’s a shame the gov’t thinks it needs to intervene.
wow…it is so interesting to read everyone’s comments. this is such a tricky thing…i’m not sure what part of the south you are in, but i know here in tx you sure wouldn’t want to be caught doing it.
i had a friend running videos into blockbuster while her 3 were in the car and an officer questioned her about it.
i will occasionally leave mine to run in at the cleaners, but always think twice and worry the whole time even though they are in my sight.
i only have two…three would just be that much harder!
oh ouch. I just did that (w/2) at a gas station to get my sick little dd a juice while pumping gas during a 7 hr drive alone. Baby was sleeping, and I just couldn’t stomach them being unsettled.
We have talked about it before, and ONLY due to gov’t intervention are concerned about this issue. Why are good parents being charged with neglect?! The newer parenting research agrees with the old idea of parenting: benign neglect. It’s best for our children.
Overparenting vs attachment parenting
http://www.babble.com/content/articles/features/dispatches/granju/overparentingcrisis/index.aspx
feeling the cramp of over-intervention.
wow, that’s a scary thought. something else to think about is what happened to my friend: she left her son (3rd grade) in the car while she ran into the bank to cash a check and while she was in their the bank got robbed. It was all she could do to run to her car hoping the thief wouldn’t use it for the get away car. Sounds far fetched but this was in a really small town. Sorry for the long comment, just wanted to give ya’ll something else to think about.
it only takes 5 seconds, those five seconds you take your eyes off your kid to run in somewhere. 5 seconds for a stranger to take off in your car. 5 seconds to pull your kid out and run off. You can tell yourself it’s easier and so inconvenient to have to take them out of the car, but think how you’d feel if something bad happened. So call it what you will, but it is negligence. Good parents don’t intentionally put their kids in harm’s way even for 5 seconds. It’s definitely not overparenting or overprotectiveness, it’s common sense.
As to benign neglect from previous poster… yes, let your kids explore, play in dirt and run in the yard alone, but provide a safe environment to explore, like putting the medicines safely away out of reach, fence in your yard, watching them around pools etc. It may work for older kids, say 5th grade and up to wander off and do their own thing or “benign neglect” whatever you call it, but little kids don’t have the experience to know how to keep themselves out of harm’s way, like pool safety, medicine safety and staying safe in an open yard.
Moriah – I don’t think anybody’s talking about leaving the car running, or unlocked, with the kids in there, are they?
Erm, no. Unless you had a really bad day and are looking for someone to take your kids off your hands for you.
looks like I’ll be mailing my rent check(instead of saving a stamp and running inside with the payment) and I’d better find one of those drive-thru drycleaners. Would someone please open a drive-thru grocery store?
I’m SO guilty of this one. Thanks for the gentle reminder. No more.
I don’t think you should ever leave them alone in the car unless they’re much older. Mine are now 11 and 15 are perfectly fine when left alone for a quick run into the bank or pick up pizza. It took me years to leave them…my daughter was probably 13 before I would leave for a quick anything. But I guess it’s because I was raised in NYC and we would lock the car inside the locked garage…if you were lucky to have a garage!