It’s long, but bear with me

This is not a “preachy” blog. Those just aren’t my gifts. (And, to be quite honest, I tend to avoid most of them because they feel ‘plastic-y’ to me. Well, except for a few out there like Femina… I truly appreciate the wisdom and insight I gain there.)

Anyway, all that to say, I’m going to step out on a limb here and bend my little rule a bit. Because I’m still pondering something we talked about in Sunday School and it might sink in more if I write about it. And it struck me as downright fascinating.

We’ve been talking about the parable of the prodigal son found in Luke 15, both in worship and in SS. Today, our SS teacher read the passage about each of the sons – the prodigal and the older brother – and had us choose the one we related to the most.

Yeah. Hits where it hurts.

For easy reference, here is that part of the story:

Verse 11: “There was a man who had two sons. (12)The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. [He’d mentioned before that that’s akin to telling the father, “I wish you were dead.”]

(13)“Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. (14)After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. (15)So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! (18)I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. (19)I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.’ (20)So he got up and went to his father.”

And then for the older son, beginning with verse 25: “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. (26)So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. (27)’Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

(28)“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. (29)But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. (30)But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’”

Anyway, so our teacher read those bits about the sons, and then told us if we related more to the older brother, to come sit in the front row. And if we related more to the prodigal, to move to the back row, aka “the far off-country.”

Not surprisingly, the front row ended up being packed, while the back row only had a few stragglers. We talked about how the majority of the CHURCH is like the older brother – doing the “right” things, year after year… trying to be and do good. Loving rules, order, justice.

A few highlights of the discussion that followed: First, one of the things the ‘older brother syndrome’ breeds, but is very hard to detect in our own hearts, is envy. And he used a dictionary definition of feeling sorrow at another’s happiness. I.e., that younger brother didn’t deserve to be welcomed home and then celebrated over! The older brother’s reaction was self-righteous anger and envy.

(He also brought up the parable of the vineyard owner who paid all the workers the same amount, regardless of what time of day they started working. The ‘older brother’ syndrome would be to get angry when the 11th-hour workers receive the same pay as those who had worked all day long. Jesus rebuked them for being angry that the vineyard owner was generous.)

The other thing we talked in depth about was the cycle of self-righteousness typical of the older brother. When they/we hit a “bump” where things don’t go well or as planned, the self-righteousness turns to self-reproach and then self-condemnation.

The key is – our the focus is always on self! Not on the generosity and love of the Father.

And then we did talk a bit about the prodigal son. We had discussed last week how he/they/we leave to go find value where it cannot be found (the ‘far off country’); it can only be had from the Father’s loving hand.

(I don’t know about you, but I could come up with quite a long list of things I wrongly try to find (my) value in.)

Today we discussed how prodigals tend to be more empathetic with others and their sin. They’ve been there; they’ve hit bottom. They also can easily be suspicious of blessings received and skeptical of the Father’s generosity – because they know they don’t deserve it and how could that be?!

We older brothers, we don’t deserve it either.

We just think we do.