By Moriah on July 16th, 2013

I haven’t blogged because I’ve been feeling lost.  Like, I suddenly forgot how to be the mom.  The 2,384 days of rain sucked the creativity out of me and I still haven’t recovered.  And I spend way too much on groceries because I just. can’t. think.

I’ve been reading Jen Hatmaker’s Out of the Spin Cycle: How to Lighten Your Mother Load which is AWESOME. But convicting too.  Like shouldn’t I be running a soup kitchen?  I feel like laying face-down on the floor crying a lot as it is, and I only have one two-year-old.  How do you get past that?

I think I need my friends more.  I am constantly surrounded by people (granted, usually 9 & under), yet still feel pretty lonely and I am sure I’m not the only one.  It’s hard having your soul sister live on the other side of the planet.

Anyway. Today I’m going to scoop about half of the playroom into the donation pile. I need to make space to breathe. It’s too overwhelming to pick up right now, a sure sign there’s too much stuff. So, cranking up the music, coffee, and Storybook Bible today.

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8 Responses to “drifting”

  1. Sarah on July 16, 2013 10:16 am

    Right there with you, sister. Just finishing up this book: “Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches”. Great book…just ordered two copies so I have one for me and one to pass around…short chapters so they can be read during a few minutes on the elliptical or whatever (ask me how I know!).

  2. Moriah on July 16, 2013 11:01 am

    I loved that book! She’s got a second one, too, also good. It’s called Fit to Burst.

  3. camille on July 16, 2013 1:40 pm

    you are not alone! i actually use the blogging to meet some of those needs to reach outside of my home. (and i only have two kids total!) when i spend too much time without my friends, i start to even doubt that they like me, find me a valuable friend, find me interesting. it is hard!

  4. Mary Kathryn on July 16, 2013 3:20 pm

    Oh, Moriah — it DOES get better! I promise. I remember the lonely feeling. It was particularly bad b/c we moved so much, and I had to make new friends whenever we did. I left family behind and lived in Iowa (Iowa!!!) for 6 years.

    Later, when they’re older and your life has reached more equilibrium, it will be much better. One thing you MUST DO now, and can’t be done later — nurture and nourish you marriage. (I’m sorry to be that bossy, when I barely know you.) It’s the most important thing you can do. It helps with the loneliness. And when the years have passed, and the kids have started to fly away, the marriage is still there. I’m sure you know this. And definitely — donate half those toys!! :)

  5. Mindy on July 16, 2013 10:05 pm

    You are most definitely NOT the only one!! I can’t even remember the last time I didn’t feel this way.

  6. Nicky on July 17, 2013 4:53 pm

    I’d have you over, but turning five kids into nine never seems to help much. We need a girls night out.

  7. Alissa on July 21, 2013 3:00 pm

    I feel the exact same way- lonely even though I’m never alone, working through the daily mess of life but not really enjoying things along the way, house overrun by the chaos of little people…they say it gets better though, no? :)

  8. Dolly on September 5, 2013 3:28 pm

    Just now saw this post. :-( :-( :-(
    Love you girlie! Hope today is a better brighter day.

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