DPP Day 5: Getting Ready

Arianna’s baptism is tomorrow!

Posted in conjunction with the December Photo Project.

Filed under Baby Ari, By Faith, Photo Op | Comments (2)

An Observer

About once a month there is a children’s sermon at our church and all the kids are invited to walk down to the front steps and participate. Yesterday was the day. (Also, Adelaide’s first time since we started having her in the service with us.)

I was also signed up for infant nursery duty. I had sat in there for about a half an hour with two other ladies, and no babies came, so I ended up going back to the sanctuary. Andy and the kids had sat up in the balcony, him being alone with the three kids. (There’s an iffy situation if I ever saw one.)

By the time I sat down, he had walked the girls down to the front of the church. (Drew was using the bathroom and missed it.)

So I got to be a helpless observer for Adelaide’s, um, performance. She initially sat down, but then jumped up and started heading up the choir stairs. Madeline, ever the big sister, tried to grab her hand and pull her back to her seat.

Adelaide snatched her hand away and sat back down, only to jump and run up the stairs again.

Rinse and repeat about six times with an increasing amount of drama.

Finally Andy had to walk down and sit in the front pew so she wouldn’t be tempted to continue her self-endorsed playtime.

But the thought struck me as I sat there and watched; I could do nothing. I couldn’t control her, especially at such a distance. I was obliged to simply be an observer.

Sure, yes, we can train and teach and try to mold our kids and lead them in the way they should go. But ultimately, it IS the Holy Spirit who works in our kids’ lives and hearts. We do nothing but watch.

Filed under By Faith, Friends, Sweet Adelaide | Comments (7)

Parenting on Purpose

A few weeks ago Andy and I attended a short parenting conference put on by the youth of our church. (They did all the babysitting and served the lunch, accepting donations for upcoming missions trips, etc. I thought it was a great way to do fundraising and I know they blessed us parents through their work that day.)

There were three speakers; our senior pastor’s topic was “The Training and Instruction of the Lord,” one of the elders (who also happens to be our Sunday School teacher) spoke on communication, and the director of the local Christian youth network spoke on “Fueling Your Child’s Passion for Christ.”

Even though the conference was short, it was one of the highlights in my (continuing) education on how to be a godly parent. (I need to find out if any of it was recorded and get a copy, STAT.) Due to length, I’m going to have to break this into more than one post…

THE TRAINING AND INSTRUCTION OF THE LORD

Introduction: Col. 3:20-21; Eph. 6:1-4
These are the two verses that speak to children obeying their parents in the Lord. Pointed out that immediately after that directive in both verses, Paul tells fathers not to embitter or exasperate their children – this is just as important as that obedience! You can embitter or exasperate both by underdisciplining AND by overdisciplining.

I.  You are to train & instruct them by your walk

A.  Scripture teaches believers how to “walk” – (Deut. 8:6, I John 1:7; 2 John 6; 3 John 4)
B.  By your walk you teach & instruct them 24/7 – they pick up more by watching you than what you say
C.  If your walk fails consistently to line up with your talk then they will learn to disrespect and then disregard you
D.  But if your walk matches your talk, you can become your child’s hero
E.  Therefore,

1. How should you live? (Col. 3:12-17)
2. What should you do when you sin? Your children should know what confession/repentance/forgiveness looks like because they watch YOU
a. If your kids never see you repent or ask forgiveness, you are deceiving them and living a lie

II. You are to train & instruct them by your words

A. “Sticks & stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me” – that’s a LIE. (Prov. 12:18; 15:1; 25:11; 4:3-5, 20-22) Words are a double-edged sword, can be used for life and health.
B. Informal training and instruction – happens all the time
C. Formal training and instruction (Deut. 6:7)
1. Teach them about men and women who had a passion for the Lord and served others in His name

III. You are to train & instruct them by your disciplining

A. Training and Instruction –
1. They should obey you without challenge, excuse, or delay
2. Remember Paul’s warning (introduction above)
3. Remember your purpose
B. A Biblical pattern of discipline
1. Spanking (Prov. 22:15; 13:24; 23:13-14; 29:15)
2. How we did it…
a. When our child deliberately disobeyed, we took them aside
b. We talked WITH (not at) them, and asked two questions:
i. Do you love me?
ii. Do you love Jesus?
iii. Disobedience IS sin.
c. We then…
i. Spanked them (Prov. 22:15; 13:24; 23:13-14)
ii. Forgave them, assured them of our love
iii. Prayed with them
iv. And then it was OVER (Like our sins are IMMEDIATELY over with God)

IV. A Few Brief Observations

A. Raising children should be a delight (Prov. 29:17)
1. The first few years are crucial
2. The teen years should be a delight (they should be well trained by then in practicing “common courtesy”
a. Discernment
b. The biggies: LYING & DISRESPECT
B. Remember: Your child’s relationship with the Lord is ultimately their responsibility

BUT WHILE THEY ARE STILL YOURS YOU CAN BE USED PROFOUNDLY BY THE LORD TO SHAPE & MOLD THEIR THOUGHTS AND BEHAVIORS…

AND IN THIS LIFETIME YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A GREATER RESPONSIBILITY, OPPORTUNITY OR PRIVILEGE

(Outline follows handout.)

Filed under By Faith, Family, To Share | Comments (10)

Purpose

I am a young mother. This is my blog. And part of the reason I share my life here is so that if you are another struggling young mother, you will know you’re not alone.

My child pooped on the living room floor last night. You are not alone.

I needed more patience yesterday. You are not alone.

I often feel adult-lonely when my husband leaves for work. You are not alone.

I don’t feel like making dinner sometimes. You are not alone.

We are in a season where it’s difficult to make ends meet. You are not alone.

Sometimes I cannot WAIT to get my kids in bed. You are not alone.

I struggle with my weight sometimes. You are not alone.

I sometimes wish I had a more glamorous life. You are not alone.

But. More importantly, if you know Jesus, you are not alone because He has promised never to leave [us] or forsake [His children]. Rest in that today.

Filed under By Faith | Comments (18)

SS Notes, Take Two

This past Sunday was our last week of looking at the parable of the prodigal son during Sunday school. We’ve already studied the prodigal himself, spent a week talking about the older brother, and then for this class we focused on the father.

One of the things our teacher started out by saying was if we remember anything from the study, let it be that as Christians, we are all called to be like the father, and our sanctification is to that end.

Fleshing it out:

• At the beginning of the story, the father gave that to the son which he did not deserve (at least yet); knowing the son would most likely squander everything
• DID NOT WITHOLD RESOURCES BUT GAVE FREELY, EVEN TO THE UNDESERVING
• He did not try to use wisdom or logic to try to persuade his son to say; did not try to change his son’s mind
• Did not go after him; he let him go (and “manhandling” someone often breeds further rebelliousness)
• Watched the son leave knowing his love wasn’t enough to make the son stay, hoping it would be enough to bring him back
• He hoped and watched every single day for his son’s return — not knowing if he would ever come back
• He waited patiently; he did not go after his son
• He was there watching when the son came back; saw him from a far off
• Side note: OUR HOPE IS NOT IN THE ONE WHO HAS GONE TO THE FAR COUNTRY; RATHER OUR HOPE IS IN OUR HEAVENLY FATHER
• When the son returned, the father RAN to the son; his love and forgiveness was apparent and overflowing
• He did not make the son grovel
• He did not make the son do penitence
• He threw a party, sparing no expense (and the father’s own celebration was more poignant because he had experienced that extreme pain in hoping and waiting)

(Another side note: So why don’t we all just become prodigals and experience the father’s love in such a meaningful way? For one thing, we would not experience the father’s faithfulness every single day – the older brother saw that and was blessed in it.

He saw his father go out and meet each new day, whispering “out there” his love for his younger son. The older brother was himself the beneficiary of all that his father had – every single day. “All that I have is yours.” Always.)

What we do each day matters: we love, we forgive, we wait… and we hope.

Filed under By Faith | Comments (4)

It’s long, but bear with me

This is not a “preachy” blog. Those just aren’t my gifts. (And, to be quite honest, I tend to avoid most of them because they feel ‘plastic-y’ to me. Well, except for a few out there like Femina… I truly appreciate the wisdom and insight I gain there.)

Anyway, all that to say, I’m going to step out on a limb here and bend my little rule a bit. Because I’m still pondering something we talked about in Sunday School and it might sink in more if I write about it. And it struck me as downright fascinating.

We’ve been talking about the parable of the prodigal son found in Luke 15, both in worship and in SS. Today, our SS teacher read the passage about each of the sons – the prodigal and the older brother – and had us choose the one we related to the most.

Yeah. Hits where it hurts.

For easy reference, here is that part of the story:

Verse 11: “There was a man who had two sons. (12)The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. [He’d mentioned before that that’s akin to telling the father, “I wish you were dead.”]

(13)“Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. (14)After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. (15)So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! (18)I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. (19)I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.’ (20)So he got up and went to his father.”

And then for the older son, beginning with verse 25: “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. (26)So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. (27)’Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

(28)“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. (29)But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. (30)But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’”

Anyway, so our teacher read those bits about the sons, and then told us if we related more to the older brother, to come sit in the front row. And if we related more to the prodigal, to move to the back row, aka “the far off-country.”

Not surprisingly, the front row ended up being packed, while the back row only had a few stragglers. We talked about how the majority of the CHURCH is like the older brother – doing the “right” things, year after year… trying to be and do good. Loving rules, order, justice.

A few highlights of the discussion that followed: First, one of the things the ‘older brother syndrome’ breeds, but is very hard to detect in our own hearts, is envy. And he used a dictionary definition of feeling sorrow at another’s happiness. I.e., that younger brother didn’t deserve to be welcomed home and then celebrated over! The older brother’s reaction was self-righteous anger and envy.

(He also brought up the parable of the vineyard owner who paid all the workers the same amount, regardless of what time of day they started working. The ‘older brother’ syndrome would be to get angry when the 11th-hour workers receive the same pay as those who had worked all day long. Jesus rebuked them for being angry that the vineyard owner was generous.)

The other thing we talked in depth about was the cycle of self-righteousness typical of the older brother. When they/we hit a “bump” where things don’t go well or as planned, the self-righteousness turns to self-reproach and then self-condemnation.

The key is – our the focus is always on self! Not on the generosity and love of the Father.

And then we did talk a bit about the prodigal son. We had discussed last week how he/they/we leave to go find value where it cannot be found (the ‘far off country’); it can only be had from the Father’s loving hand.

(I don’t know about you, but I could come up with quite a long list of things I wrongly try to find (my) value in.)

Today we discussed how prodigals tend to be more empathetic with others and their sin. They’ve been there; they’ve hit bottom. They also can easily be suspicious of blessings received and skeptical of the Father’s generosity – because they know they don’t deserve it and how could that be?!

We older brothers, we don’t deserve it either.

We just think we do.

Filed under By Faith | Comments (6)

An update

Alright, alright. I’ve been holding out on y’all just a little bit.

(Nope, not pregnant or anything. Settle down.)

Andy is back working at the restaurant. He decided that the job we moved here for wasn’t a good fit, for better or worse. He was working with a friend, and friends they still are. No strain on either side, which is a blessing (but I wasn’t really worried about that).

I don’t know where we’ll end up, but that’s the nature of the Christian life; trusting and waiting on the Lord. We’re content to coast here for now, Andy working in the evenings again and being home during the day. (It’s actually quite nice, what with a house full of pre-schoolers and all.)

I know, we’re full of surprises. But now you know!

Filed under Andy My Love, By Faith | Comment (1)

Outside this evening:

Genesis 9:12-16 (NKJV)

12 And God said: “This is the sign of the covenant which I make between Me and you, and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations: 13 I set My rainbow in the cloud, and it shall be for the sign of the covenant between Me and the earth. 14 It shall be, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the rainbow shall be seen in the cloud; 15 and I will remember My covenant which is between Me and you and every living creature of all flesh; the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh. 16 The rainbow shall be in the cloud, and I will look on it to remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.”

Filed under By Faith, Photo Op | Comments (3)

Click away, my friends!

GREAT Easter post this morning, right here: Chocolate Eggs and Jesus Risen.

Filed under By Faith, The Land Called Blog | Comments (2)

One of my favorite evening hymns

The day you gave us, Lord, is ended,
The darkness falls at your behest;
To you our morning hymns ascended,
Your praise shall hallow now our rest.

We thank you that your church, unsleeping
While earth rolls onward into light,
Through all the world her watch is keeping,
And rests not now by day or night.

As o’er each continent and island
The dawn leads on another day,
The voice of prayer is never silent,
Nor dies the strain of praise away.

The sun, that bids us rest, is waking
Our brethren ‘neath the western sky,
And hour by hour fresh lips are making
Your wondrous doings heard on high.

So be it, Lord; your throne shall never,
Like earth’s proud empires, pass away;
But stand, and rule, and grow forever,
Till all your creatures own your sway.

- John Ellerton, 1870

Filed under By Faith | Comment (0)