No ordinary Tuesday

We had a birthday party for a little friend last night at the pool. (Today’s high is supposed to be 90 – hello, summer.) My mom is staying until Saturday (let’s all say a prayer of thanksgiving) and so she kept Arianna while the rest of us went to the party.

(I love my baby girl but) I cannot tell you how relaxing it was to just SIT and CHAT and EAT and not chase or feed anyone. I love parties where the dads play, too.

Andy’s first house is closing today. We are SO thankful to be on this side of the process! Lots of lessons learned and I’m sure more to come. He kept telling me through the job hunting that he had a feeling we’d be pleasantly surprised “when all this is over” and I couldn’t help sometimes but to smirk. I KNOW God is faithful and I KNOW He always had a plan for us. But sometimes it’s hard to see and it’s hard to keep going, blind and without any sort of reassurance.

And yet here we are.

Welp, I’m meeting a friend for tea in just a bit and have an OB appointment later this afternoon. (So I guess I should at least wash my face.) Oh, speaking of OB appointments, I haven’t gone to any in at least 2 months. Sick kids, no babysitter, storms, no power… I had to cancel several times. That glucose test? Still haven’t had it. I thought I could squeeze by without it since I’m rather close but no, the nurse wants me to take it anyway. (Ugh.)

And G sent me a coupon for kids-eat-free at Chili’s so I’m thinkin’ we’re going to do that tonight. Celebrate Andy’s first closing – why not? (He can eat vegan there, right? ;) Besides, our 9th anniversary is tomorrow and he turns 30 on Thursday. Enough to celebrate for an entire week, yes?

Friday morning, with muffins

This looked so bright and cheery on the kids’ breakfast table this morning. We’re expecting a storm today so I’ve got all the lights on and I’m staying in my comfy pants. I can’t go anywhere either, since our mechanic is attempting to slide our van past the state emissions test today. (Let’s all groan together now.)

In other news, Andy is LOVING his new work. He is sooooooo busy though. (Like came home from the office past midnight a few days last week.) I did text him one night and said “you better be working and not just shooting the breeze!!!!” He wrote back “ha!” (I’m always a little suspicious because he’s working with a good friend and they have a really great time together.) But, regardless, sooo thankful. Now if we can just eek by until the first closing (earlyish May). God is faithful and does provide. The end.

there’s a boy in my belly

Another post I’ve been putting off!!

Alternate title: What I Really Look Like

Sooo, surprise? Us, too! I’ve been (rather foolishly, apparently) waiting for Andy to get a job before I announced this pregnancy because, well, the timing.

BUT. I know God is faithful and He cares for ALL of His children. We’re leaning hard on that.

And yes! We already know it’s a boy. (Long story.) So, while we probably wouldn’t have chosen to have Number 5 at this particular moment in our lives, we ARE excited AND thankful.

More of our story

Since my blog is public, there are things that I can’t and won’t share here. Things that have become common knowledge, however, (or that I’d say out loud at a coffee shop – HT to J’net) I feel comfortable writing and blogging about.  I’m all for openness and honesty, when appropriate; our lives are not always roses.  One of those things now getting the green light is that a little while back Andy resigned from his position at the restaurant.

There were a number of personal reasons, none of which ultimately matter; we simply needed to move on.  There were SO many little God-things, nudging, pointing, directing our path.  Only problem is that it’s taken longer for other things to settle, and we’ve needed lots of extra grace and patience.  (Thank goodness grace doesn’t just, like, run out.)

So we’re beginning to feel the pinch; starting to look around and determine what is absolutely necessary.  God’s provision has been over-abundant so far and we have everything we need for today.  I know that He will not fail us, even as we wonder at the next step.

I feel compelled to share this little story because it’s such a picture of what these last two months have been like.  Our dental insurance is set to expire at the end of this month.  Of course I kept forgetting to call for possible appointments for Andy and me and HERE IT IS, the end of October.  I finally called yesterday morning and explained our situation.  The receptionist said “well you’re in luck because I have a cancellation open for today and one for tomorrow!”

I took the first available appointment, yesterday afternoon.  I can hardly remember the last time I went to the dentist, definitely before Drew was born.  The technology now is pretty amazing – they found 3 tiny cavities before they were really an issue.  But my heart sank.  Surely there was no way they’d be able to fit me back in for fillings before the end of this month.

I pretty much shrugged my shoulders: oh well.

She said she’d be right back.

The next thing I know she’s looking in my eyes and said “we’re going to do them today.”  And that was that!  I had all three teeth filled less than an hour and a half later.  Sure, we have a bill with co-pays.  But it’s less than a third of what it would have been in a mere couple of days.  (And let’s just pray Andy has none.)

Anyway, so yeah.  Trying not to stress.  Keeping my eyes fixed on TODAY.  Trusting that He hasn’t led us this far to drop us off a cliff.  It’s hard, too, because of that tricky balance between finding the perfect job and taking what’s available.  And furthermore, he needs something flexible enough he can continue his master’s program in music (the end goal).  I can’t remember if I ever mentioned he started that this semester.

Pray with us?

Enough

Y’all.  I know I have sweet internet friends that come check here every day for an update or a laugh or a photo.  I know it’s frustrating to have the same old post show up day after day.  But our lives are topsy turvy right now and some days I’m hanging on by a thread, no room for extras.  There are things I wish I could say here but I really just can’t.  The story is not [only] mine to tell.  And God is in the very middle of showing us what He’s written.

So we wait.  We follow.

We live each day.  One at a time.

And it is enough.

(“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matthew 6:34)

DPP Day 5: Getting Ready

Arianna’s baptism is tomorrow!

Posted in conjunction with the December Photo Project.

An Observer

About once a month there is a children’s sermon at our church and all the kids are invited to walk down to the front steps and participate. Yesterday was the day. (Also, Adelaide’s first time since we started having her in the service with us.)

I was also signed up for infant nursery duty. I had sat in there for about a half an hour with two other ladies, and no babies came, so I ended up going back to the sanctuary. Andy and the kids had sat up in the balcony, him being alone with the three kids. (There’s an iffy situation if I ever saw one.)

By the time I sat down, he had walked the girls down to the front of the church. (Drew was using the bathroom and missed it.)

So I got to be a helpless observer for Adelaide’s, um, performance. She initially sat down, but then jumped up and started heading up the choir stairs. Madeline, ever the big sister, tried to grab her hand and pull her back to her seat.

Adelaide snatched her hand away and sat back down, only to jump and run up the stairs again.

Rinse and repeat about six times with an increasing amount of drama.

Finally Andy had to walk down and sit in the front pew so she wouldn’t be tempted to continue her self-endorsed playtime.

But the thought struck me as I sat there and watched; I could do nothing. I couldn’t control her, especially at such a distance. I was obliged to simply be an observer.

Sure, yes, we can train and teach and try to mold our kids and lead them in the way they should go. But ultimately, it IS the Holy Spirit who works in our kids’ lives and hearts. We do nothing but watch.

Parenting on Purpose

A few weeks ago Andy and I attended a short parenting conference put on by the youth of our church. (They did all the babysitting and served the lunch, accepting donations for upcoming missions trips, etc. I thought it was a great way to do fundraising and I know they blessed us parents through their work that day.)

There were three speakers; our senior pastor’s topic was “The Training and Instruction of the Lord,” one of the elders (who also happens to be our Sunday School teacher) spoke on communication, and the director of the local Christian youth network spoke on “Fueling Your Child’s Passion for Christ.”

Even though the conference was short, it was one of the highlights in my (continuing) education on how to be a godly parent. (I need to find out if any of it was recorded and get a copy, STAT.) Due to length, I’m going to have to break this into more than one post…

THE TRAINING AND INSTRUCTION OF THE LORD

Introduction: Col. 3:20-21; Eph. 6:1-4
These are the two verses that speak to children obeying their parents in the Lord. Pointed out that immediately after that directive in both verses, Paul tells fathers not to embitter or exasperate their children – this is just as important as that obedience! You can embitter or exasperate both by underdisciplining AND by overdisciplining.

I.  You are to train & instruct them by your walk

A.  Scripture teaches believers how to “walk” – (Deut. 8:6, I John 1:7; 2 John 6; 3 John 4)
B.  By your walk you teach & instruct them 24/7 – they pick up more by watching you than what you say
C.  If your walk fails consistently to line up with your talk then they will learn to disrespect and then disregard you
D.  But if your walk matches your talk, you can become your child’s hero
E.  Therefore,

1. How should you live? (Col. 3:12-17)
2. What should you do when you sin? Your children should know what confession/repentance/forgiveness looks like because they watch YOU
a. If your kids never see you repent or ask forgiveness, you are deceiving them and living a lie

II. You are to train & instruct them by your words

A. “Sticks & stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me” – that’s a LIE. (Prov. 12:18; 15:1; 25:11; 4:3-5, 20-22) Words are a double-edged sword, can be used for life and health.
B. Informal training and instruction – happens all the time
C. Formal training and instruction (Deut. 6:7)
1. Teach them about men and women who had a passion for the Lord and served others in His name

III. You are to train & instruct them by your disciplining

A. Training and Instruction –
1. They should obey you without challenge, excuse, or delay
2. Remember Paul’s warning (introduction above)
3. Remember your purpose
B. A Biblical pattern of discipline
1. Spanking (Prov. 22:15; 13:24; 23:13-14; 29:15)
2. How we did it…
a. When our child deliberately disobeyed, we took them aside
b. We talked WITH (not at) them, and asked two questions:
i. Do you love me?
ii. Do you love Jesus?
iii. Disobedience IS sin.
c. We then…
i. Spanked them (Prov. 22:15; 13:24; 23:13-14)
ii. Forgave them, assured them of our love
iii. Prayed with them
iv. And then it was OVER (Like our sins are IMMEDIATELY over with God)

IV. A Few Brief Observations

A. Raising children should be a delight (Prov. 29:17)
1. The first few years are crucial
2. The teen years should be a delight (they should be well trained by then in practicing “common courtesy”
a. Discernment
b. The biggies: LYING & DISRESPECT
B. Remember: Your child’s relationship with the Lord is ultimately their responsibility

BUT WHILE THEY ARE STILL YOURS YOU CAN BE USED PROFOUNDLY BY THE LORD TO SHAPE & MOLD THEIR THOUGHTS AND BEHAVIORS…

AND IN THIS LIFETIME YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A GREATER RESPONSIBILITY, OPPORTUNITY OR PRIVILEGE

(Outline follows handout.)

Purpose

I am a young mother. This is my blog. And part of the reason I share my life here is so that if you are another struggling young mother, you will know you’re not alone.

My child pooped on the living room floor last night. You are not alone.

I needed more patience yesterday. You are not alone.

I often feel adult-lonely when my husband leaves for work. You are not alone.

I don’t feel like making dinner sometimes. You are not alone.

We are in a season where it’s difficult to make ends meet. You are not alone.

Sometimes I cannot WAIT to get my kids in bed. You are not alone.

I struggle with my weight sometimes. You are not alone.

I sometimes wish I had a more glamorous life. You are not alone.

But. More importantly, if you know Jesus, you are not alone because He has promised never to leave [us] or forsake [His children]. Rest in that today.

SS Notes, Take Two

This past Sunday was our last week of looking at the parable of the prodigal son during Sunday school. We’ve already studied the prodigal himself, spent a week talking about the older brother, and then for this class we focused on the father.

One of the things our teacher started out by saying was if we remember anything from the study, let it be that as Christians, we are all called to be like the father, and our sanctification is to that end.

Fleshing it out:

• At the beginning of the story, the father gave that to the son which he did not deserve (at least yet); knowing the son would most likely squander everything
• DID NOT WITHOLD RESOURCES BUT GAVE FREELY, EVEN TO THE UNDESERVING
• He did not try to use wisdom or logic to try to persuade his son to say; did not try to change his son’s mind
• Did not go after him; he let him go (and “manhandling” someone often breeds further rebelliousness)
• Watched the son leave knowing his love wasn’t enough to make the son stay, hoping it would be enough to bring him back
• He hoped and watched every single day for his son’s return — not knowing if he would ever come back
• He waited patiently; he did not go after his son
• He was there watching when the son came back; saw him from a far off
• Side note: OUR HOPE IS NOT IN THE ONE WHO HAS GONE TO THE FAR COUNTRY; RATHER OUR HOPE IS IN OUR HEAVENLY FATHER
• When the son returned, the father RAN to the son; his love and forgiveness was apparent and overflowing
• He did not make the son grovel
• He did not make the son do penitence
• He threw a party, sparing no expense (and the father’s own celebration was more poignant because he had experienced that extreme pain in hoping and waiting)

(Another side note: So why don’t we all just become prodigals and experience the father’s love in such a meaningful way? For one thing, we would not experience the father’s faithfulness every single day – the older brother saw that and was blessed in it.

He saw his father go out and meet each new day, whispering “out there” his love for his younger son. The older brother was himself the beneficiary of all that his father had – every single day. “All that I have is yours.” Always.)

What we do each day matters: we love, we forgive, we wait… and we hope.

It’s long, but bear with me

This is not a “preachy” blog. Those just aren’t my gifts. (And, to be quite honest, I tend to avoid most of them because they feel ‘plastic-y’ to me. Well, except for a few out there like Femina… I truly appreciate the wisdom and insight I gain there.)

Anyway, all that to say, I’m going to step out on a limb here and bend my little rule a bit. Because I’m still pondering something we talked about in Sunday School and it might sink in more if I write about it. And it struck me as downright fascinating.

We’ve been talking about the parable of the prodigal son found in Luke 15, both in worship and in SS. Today, our SS teacher read the passage about each of the sons – the prodigal and the older brother – and had us choose the one we related to the most.

Yeah. Hits where it hurts.

For easy reference, here is that part of the story:

Verse 11: “There was a man who had two sons. (12)The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. [He’d mentioned before that that’s akin to telling the father, “I wish you were dead.”]

(13)“Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. (14)After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. (15)So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! (18)I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. (19)I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.’ (20)So he got up and went to his father.”

And then for the older son, beginning with verse 25: “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. (26)So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. (27)’Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

(28)“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. (29)But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. (30)But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’”

Anyway, so our teacher read those bits about the sons, and then told us if we related more to the older brother, to come sit in the front row. And if we related more to the prodigal, to move to the back row, aka “the far off-country.”

Not surprisingly, the front row ended up being packed, while the back row only had a few stragglers. We talked about how the majority of the CHURCH is like the older brother – doing the “right” things, year after year… trying to be and do good. Loving rules, order, justice.

A few highlights of the discussion that followed: First, one of the things the ‘older brother syndrome’ breeds, but is very hard to detect in our own hearts, is envy. And he used a dictionary definition of feeling sorrow at another’s happiness. I.e., that younger brother didn’t deserve to be welcomed home and then celebrated over! The older brother’s reaction was self-righteous anger and envy.

(He also brought up the parable of the vineyard owner who paid all the workers the same amount, regardless of what time of day they started working. The ‘older brother’ syndrome would be to get angry when the 11th-hour workers receive the same pay as those who had worked all day long. Jesus rebuked them for being angry that the vineyard owner was generous.)

The other thing we talked in depth about was the cycle of self-righteousness typical of the older brother. When they/we hit a “bump” where things don’t go well or as planned, the self-righteousness turns to self-reproach and then self-condemnation.

The key is – our the focus is always on self! Not on the generosity and love of the Father.

And then we did talk a bit about the prodigal son. We had discussed last week how he/they/we leave to go find value where it cannot be found (the ‘far off country’); it can only be had from the Father’s loving hand.

(I don’t know about you, but I could come up with quite a long list of things I wrongly try to find (my) value in.)

Today we discussed how prodigals tend to be more empathetic with others and their sin. They’ve been there; they’ve hit bottom. They also can easily be suspicious of blessings received and skeptical of the Father’s generosity – because they know they don’t deserve it and how could that be?!

We older brothers, we don’t deserve it either.

We just think we do.

An update

Alright, alright. I’ve been holding out on y’all just a little bit.

(Nope, not pregnant or anything. Settle down.)

Andy is back working at the restaurant. He decided that the job we moved here for wasn’t a good fit, for better or worse. He was working with a friend, and friends they still are. No strain on either side, which is a blessing (but I wasn’t really worried about that).

I don’t know where we’ll end up, but that’s the nature of the Christian life; trusting and waiting on the Lord. We’re content to coast here for now, Andy working in the evenings again and being home during the day. (It’s actually quite nice, what with a house full of pre-schoolers and all.)

I know, we’re full of surprises. But now you know!

Outside this evening:

Genesis 9:12-16 (NKJV)

12 And God said: “This is the sign of the covenant which I make between Me and you, and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations: 13 I set My rainbow in the cloud, and it shall be for the sign of the covenant between Me and the earth. 14 It shall be, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the rainbow shall be seen in the cloud; 15 and I will remember My covenant which is between Me and you and every living creature of all flesh; the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh. 16 The rainbow shall be in the cloud, and I will look on it to remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.”

Click away, my friends!

GREAT Easter post this morning, right here: Chocolate Eggs and Jesus Risen.

One of my favorite evening hymns

The day you gave us, Lord, is ended,
The darkness falls at your behest;
To you our morning hymns ascended,
Your praise shall hallow now our rest.

We thank you that your church, unsleeping
While earth rolls onward into light,
Through all the world her watch is keeping,
And rests not now by day or night.

As o’er each continent and island
The dawn leads on another day,
The voice of prayer is never silent,
Nor dies the strain of praise away.

The sun, that bids us rest, is waking
Our brethren ‘neath the western sky,
And hour by hour fresh lips are making
Your wondrous doings heard on high.

So be it, Lord; your throne shall never,
Like earth’s proud empires, pass away;
But stand, and rule, and grow forever,
Till all your creatures own your sway.

- John Ellerton, 1870