Sweet Visits

Last night a friend from college came to see me, and brought her three-month-old bundle of pink. My sisters showed up conveniently about five minutes before, and were able to help me with the last-minute bedtime preparations so I could spend my time gabbing with Monique. (Thankfully the kids had already been bathed before the doorbell ever rang, so there really wasn’t much to do.)

We had tea and she stayed really late – a great time in my book!

And then my phone rang this morning, and it was my Aunt Florence, who is in town for my cousin/her son’s music concert. She wondered if she and Aunt Collyn could stop by, and maybe Nicky wouldn’t mind walking over as well.

I wasted no time calling Nicky and special-ordering muffins, while I was at it. I mean, if I’m expected to have an impromptu tea party, the least she could do is bring the muffins. Oh, and don’t forget the pineapple!

(Don’t you wish you were my neighbor?)

We had a sweet, lovely time together. My sister turned up again with a friend (who needed to interview Madeline for her Dev. Psych class), which meant we also had someone to watch all the kids outside so we could enjoy our tea and muffins from the comfort of the living room. Nice!

I mentioned a family heartbreak a few weeks back. My aunt showed us her pictures and told us some of the details we hadn’t yet heard. It was such a bittersweet time – sweet to be together, yet sorrowful about the reality of it all. (Again, sorry to be so vague, but I’ll fill you in if and when I have permission.)

It was such a blessing to be able to spend time with dear people I don’t get to see very often. (Unfortunately I don’t have any pictures since my camera has decided to walk off.)

A beautiful day in the neighborhood

My dad is here! He has a meeting in Atlanta next week so he flew in early to be with us this weekend. My sisters and I talked him into a riveting game of Taboo last night and obviously he’s been playing with the grandkids a lot.

My girls took a bath this morning and almost immediately I heard Madeline yell “MOM! SHE POOPED IN THE TUB!”

WOE. IS. ME.

It ended up being a CEREAL bar. Who takes a bath with a cereal bar?!

But since it wasn’t poop, I was happy as a clam. Except they had also clogged the tub with huge wads of shredded toilet paper. I spent an unbelievable amount of time straining out dripping strings of tissue paper and soggy bits of wheat product.

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

Andy and my dad just took Drew and Madeline to the waterfall and later (meaning naptime), my sisters and I are going to “Marley and Me” at the cheap theater. We also have a dinner invitation from my brother and sister-in-law.

It’s shaping up to being a beautiful Saturday after all.

One Crazy-Busy Week

Because my mom is here, it’s been a crazy-busy week for our little family. The whirlwind is starting to wind down and I’m able to stop and catch my breath a little. She’s the type of person that likes to cram each day to the brim and drags me into it (almost) unknowingly.

For example, she’s watched the kids so Andy and I could go out on a couple of dates, hosted a little Valentine’s tea for some dear local friends, ran errands, made dinners, took Madeline, my sisters and me out for an afternoon tea, helped finish a few house projects (which I’m saving later posts), and organized my laundry room.

Not to mention all the babysitting.

This morning Andy and I went out to breakfast and then on a nature walk. (I surprise myself sometimes.) It’s really very convenient having a live-in babysitter, even if only for a week! I was able to meet some friends for coffee on Tuesday, and different friends last night. (I could totally get used to this.)

And this probably goes without saying but my kids have LOVED IT. They’ve gotten to go to the playground and Chick-Fil-A and on bike rides and learned several new games and Drew started getting into this ABC floor puzzle she brought him.

He also had his very first school Valentine’s party yesterday and it was the cutest thing in the world to watch him share his cards and candy with his sisters.

These are the things I want to remember.

Busy, busy, busy

As I’m sure you have been, too.

Would you believe it, I got stuck running last-minute errands on Christmas Eve – the ONE thing I didn’t want to do. But I had forgotten a few ingredients so it couldn’t be helped.

And then I left the two dvds I had bought as stocking stuffers for Andy with the cashier at Wal-Mart and had to go back and retrieve them.

Not a bright and shining holiday moment but it was either that or lose out on the $20.

Our Lessons and Carols service was wonderful. Drew spotted Vangie and John a few rows behind us halfway through the service and made a beeline for them. I then spent the rest of the time trying to corral Madeline, who wanted to go sit with them, too. But we weren’t going to play musical chairs in the middle of the service and I had firmly told her no.

My brother and sister-in-law came over afterwards for fondue and snacks. We had a great time, but they didn’t leave ‘till midnight! So I was up very late playing santa and rolling the coffee buns for Christmas breakfast.

Thankfully the kids woke up after 8 on Christmas morning, and it was so sweet to just be our little family and spend the morning quietly at home. We did Skype with Andy’s folks a bit (we got them a webcam this year) and around mid-afternoon I got my second-ever turkey in the oven.

(This time I tried brining it first and I will never look back. Oh, MY.)

I had planned on spending the afternoon cooking. But then, Andy got it in his head to set up the kids’ gift from all the grandparents, even though we’d agreed to wait because of the recent weather and the tree situation. I got roped into helping him and my cooking plans were neatly tossed out the window.

That huge box sitting in my dining room? Was this:

Unfortunately it’s been mostly dreary so the kids have only gotten to play on it maybe an hour so far. But I’m sure they’ll use it to death in the coming years.

I did finally get the holiday meal thrown together before Micah and Erin showed up again (and another friend, too). It was quite a lot of food, but then again I won’t need to cook the rest of the weekend. Possibly the best turkey I’ve ever had. And another great time had by all.

Late yesterday afternoon, the kids and I went to John’s family’s open house. I knew there would be tons of kids there so I didn’t think twice about going alone (Andy had to work) and I’m so glad I went. They had hired a couple of teenagers from the church to help with the kids and I actually got to socialize. (And it was the last time I got to hang out with Vangie since they leave today.)

My favorite gift? My folks got Andy and I a flip video, and so I will leave you with a taste of the hilarity that’s ensued:

Also entitled “He cracks himself up”:

(I used the quick upload, so the quality isn’t as good as it can be… I need to play around with it more.)

***Edited to add his lyrics: “1,2,3,4,5, I picked a fish. 6,7,8,9,10, I threw it back again.”

“Why did you let it go?”

“‘Cause it bit me!!”

Playtime, Holiday-style

So Andy’s parents have been here visiting for the last few days. They came down on Saturday, went to church and lunch with us on Sunday, and watched the kids later that afternoon so we could meet with the session and officially join our new church.

My mom-in-law helped the kids put their gingerbread houses together on Monday:

Everything a gingerbread house kit should be: messy, with icing as thick as cement. And candy, lots of candy.

(And yes, it’s been disappearing mysteriously ever since.)

Yesterday, Andy’s mom and I took Madeline to the tea room for a little Christmas tea party:

(Pardon Madeline’s mouth full o’ food. Ahem.)

I was also able to get all my Christmas shopping done while they were here. Yay for grandparents who love to play with their grandkids!

A Mother’s Birthday, in Pictures

We took my mom out for her birthday last night. (We’d spent most of the day working around the house and running errands, and no one felt like changing out of jeans, so we picked a place that’s not too fancy.)

(Yes, I know I look awful.)

My dad, being cheesy…

Brother and Sis-in-law:

After dinner, we came back to our house and made our own version of Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spiced Latte:

(Excuse the spill. Ahem.)

And there were cupcakes:

And Nut Cups:

And Birthday Pie:

The end.

Friends, my awesome mother, and the pie that would never end

My real-life friend Nicky had her baby via c-section (footling breech) oh, about two weeks ago. She obviously couldn’t do much of anything for the first several days and has become quite the pro at couch-sitting.

So I wasn’t surprised when she jumped at the chance to come over yesterday, even though that would mean, by default, six children in one very tiny living room. Her sister Darcee is in town to help her, and also came over.

We had tea and scones, which was perfect fare for a rainy morning.

But I noticed something.

My kids, especially Drew, find it extremely difficult to listen (and therefore obey) when people are over. Case in point: Drew wanted to jump from the coffee chest over to the couch. But the couch was already filled with Nicky and baby, me, and either one or both of my girls. NO ROOM.

I told him ‘no.’

He came over anyway, accidentally stepping on the new baby’s tiny leg. Nicky has THE MOST fortitude of any young mother I know – she hardly reacted at all, while my head almost exploded into a million pieces and my eyes flew out the window.

After they had gone and my kids had eaten their lunch, my parents returned from their little Atlanta and Huntsville trips. I LOVE it when my mom comes, and one of the reasons is she likes (who can believe it?!) to clean.

So I have possibly the sparkliest kitchen I’ve ever had, thanks to my mom and her servant heart.

Her birthday is today, and everyone who knows her well knows she loves pie more than cake. She mentioned making a pie – and at that instant my mouth started watering for a pie. Let’s make one for dinner tonight!!

I needed a fridge light bulb anyway, so while my kids were still napping I ran over to Walmart and got it and the stuff for a banana cream pie – my favorite.

I made two pie shells, she made them pretty, and then started to make the vanilla pudding. All I keep on hand is rice milk and not surprisingly, the pudding never thickened. We put it over the bananas and crust anyway, hoping it would gel in the fridge.

Yeah. Nope.

So we scraped out the pie guts into a colander, rinsed the shells with water and placed them back in the oven to dry out (genius idea!) and I went to the nearest grocery store to get regular milk and the Jell-O brand of pudding.

Because I was GOING to have that pie.

We had a nice dinner also with my sisters, mostly uneventful. Andy was already at work so I was sad he had to miss it. And then my mom proceeded to vacuum my whole house.

But I would love her even if she just sat on the couch.

Something about weddings and Saturdays

I have twenty-three first cousins. My mom was one of five, and my dad was one of four. I always had plenty of playmates at family reunions, Christmases, and summers in Colorado.

My cousin Caleb is getting married tonight. I debated for a long time if I should take the kids and go. It would have been a seven+ hour drive and I would have had to deal with the logistical nightmare of figuring out childcare (and a place to stay) in an unfamiliar city. By myself.

And gas, it ain’t cheap.

But I really wanted to go.

The other wrench in my plans was the bridal shower of one of my very best friends, planned also for this morning, the day of Caleb’s wedding. What to do?

In the end, I decided to stay here and go to the shower. I’m a bridesmaid, Madeline is the flower girl. (But I am so sad to be missing the wedding and seeing far-off family.)

A funny, sort-of related story. My cousin Caleb, Suzanne (the bridal shower honoree), and I are all the same age. We graduated from Covenant the same year. In fact, I think the three of us even had a class together.

(In which I may or may not have fantasized about them ending up together. Alas, it was clearly not meant to be.)

Anyway, one of Caleb’s infamous memories was missing our graduation ceremony. Long story, not mine to tell. Did I ever mention Andy and I got married on the same day as my graduation?

Andy and I got married on the same day as my graduation.

Crazy, yes. It seemed a great idea at the time. (And, really, I am glad we pulled it off). Suzanne, bless her soul, let my wedding day overshadow her college graduation day. She was obliged to be involved, too, being my MOH.

Anyway, so Caleb & friends didn’t make it to graduation, but they darn well made it to my wedding. It seemed only fitting I make it to his – except for the fact that I couldn’t, and one of the reasons was that I was fulfilling my duties as bridesmaid to Suzanne.

A sort of triangle of life.

Albeit an odd one.

Here are a few fun shower pics I took:

Apparently, Madeline thought my shoes were picture-worthy (I found this later):

Playing wedding:

The Bride and Flower Girl:

Suzanne and our friend, Kristine:

And finally, some college friends:

A beautiful day.

Parenting: Not a ‘One-Size-Fits-All’

Originally published as a guest post at Musings of a Housewife, August 2008.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about parenting and how it’s not a ‘one size fits all’ relationship, even to the children within a single family. I’ve known quite a few parents and grandparents alike who will not do something for a child or grandchild unless they can afford the time, attention, or money it takes to provide that thing or opportunity to every child.

Now of course I’m not advocating playing favorites. And of course we should strive to show love equally to our kids. But the outworking of that love might look very different from child to child. And that’s a good thing!

Some kids have special needs that require a greater amount of parental time and attention. Other kids are low-maintenance and don’t require much at all. We see this in the adult world as well and I’m sure you know this to be true. We all have ‘high-maintenance’ friends (or maybe you are one!); while other people are so even-keeled, we’d actually have to work to ruffle their feathers.

As parents, it’s okay to take considerations for personality, special gifts and talents, and limitations and disabilities. We see each child as an individual and try to parent according to their specific needs; not according to what the other kids are doing or get to do.

Is one child struggling with reading? Maybe he needs some extra summer help. But you shouldn’t feel guilty about not giving that particular attention to the other kids. Maybe they’ll need extra guidance in some other area and have their own time in the spotlight.

Just the other night I decided to pop over to an old friend’s house that I haven’t seen in a while. I didn’t have the energy to bring all three of mine with me, so I brought my girls and left Drew home with Daddy. He did not like being left behind. At all. But later, after the girls were tucked in bed, Andy decided to go for a short walk around the neighborhood, and he asked Drew to go with him. Drew’s turn came; he was able to do something that the girls did not get to do.

Kids need to understand that life simply isn’t meant to be ‘equal’ or ‘fair.’ We appreciate the ups and downs; they are what it is to be alive. We teach our children to be glad for their siblings when they succeed and empathetic when they fail.

We also need to encourage our kids not to constantly compare themselves to others or their abilities to that of their siblings and friends. That sort of self-measurement is unhealthy. Each child is unique and that should be celebrated and fostered.

And this is certainly how God deals with us – uniquely, as individuals. Sure, we may be part of the larger body and have some similar circumstances. But one person may be dealt a trial while another is in the midst of smooth waters – and perhaps each for no other discernible reason than that He is glorified.

Weekend? Busy. Fun. Tiring.

Just a quick weekend update. My friend Jenny called me Friday afternoon for another spontaneous movie night. We watched “What Happens in Vegas,” which I’d already seen but I’m always up for free movies. It’s a fun one. El flicko chicko.

(No, I don’t speak Spanish. I don’t know if that’s grammatically correct.)

(Don’t care.)

Saturday morning Andy took Drew and Madeline to the mall to get himself some new running shoes at Rack Room (BOGO1/2off) because he’s running a marathon at the end of the month. Try to wrap your head around that one. And then he also let them run around in the play area and eat Chick-Fil-A.

I got to vacuum underneath my couch cushions so clearly life is fair.

I called my sisters to see if they wanted to run some errands that night, and they did (I knew they could be counted on for shopping and food). We went to Target and they needed to go to the party store for a Mexican-themed dorm event. (FUN!) Then we had fast food for dinner and stopped in at Walmart on the way home for rice milk and bananas. We had a fun time together, as usual.

Sunday we went to church and then had lunch plans with a friend. The kids got to do a little swimming, and then we all came home for marathon naps. I can’t remember the last time I’ve had that good of a nap.

While we were fixing supper, my cousin called and wanted us to come up to Aunt Collyn’s for popcorn. (That may or may not mean anything to you.) We gobbled down our food, ran out the door – in the rain – and drove on up to her house.

Other than trying to contain the kids and keep them from breaking anything, we had a really nice time hanging out with the college crowd and singing hymns. Actually, Andy sang while I chased three unnamed kids.

(Hey, shout out to Jeannette, I finally met your sister Luisa!)

After we were home and had the kids in bed, we popped “Daniel Deronda” into the dvd player and I may or may not have dozed a little to that. That’s another good movie I’d recommend, along the lines of “North & South,” “Wives & Daughters,” and the Jane Austen movies.

The Babysitters

(Convenient that my sisters used my camera when they were babysitting last Thursday.)

Hang on to your hats, folks, I’ve got Wedding Pictures Galore!

Just waiting:

Madeline hanging out with my cousin, Vangie (sister of the groom) :

The beautiful blushing bride:

Still waiting (wedding photos can take a while, you know):

My cousin Courtney and me (she’s another sister of the groom):

The beautiful Bryonie (the eldest sister of the groom):

Andy and me, right before the ceremony:

And down the aisle she goes:

The important part:

Mr. and Mrs.:

My, what a handsome groomsman:

(He’s my brother.)

John and Vangie:

Adelaide, making a run for it:

(“One shoe off and one shoe on. Diddle diddle dumpling…”)

Very ready for a huge piece of cake:

Steve and Adelaide, out on the dance floor (don’t be jealous, Nicky):

Pastor Josh and Bry:

Dancing some more:

I don’t know why I love these dancing photos so much, but I do:

(He even twirled her around a few times. I have no idea where he learned that.)

Winding down:

Resting and ‘hiding’ under the table:

A fabulous evening!

Vacation!

***This was actually written yesterday.***

Two of my mom’s sisters live here in Phoenix, one of which we’ve been staying with this weekend. It’s sort of like a little bit of heaven. I wish you could see their backyard! Oh, wait, I’ll run down and snap a few pictures (hang on)…

See? Told you.

Here are some fun photos of our afternoon yesterday:

Madeline and my mom:

Drew attempting to get on the floatie:

Madeline in the “hospital.” (She somehow got it in her head that the hot tub is called the “hospital,” and has been asking “can I go in the hospital?” ever since.):

Here’s a few from this morning:

How do you expect us to ever go home?

Mother’s Day Brunch

After church yesterday all the family still in town went out for brunch for Mother’s Day. We took a million family pictures, as usual.

My mom (in the cropped red jacket) with all her sisters and mom:

Adelaide and Papa:

Trying out his shades:

Madeline and Grandmommy:

It’s called “Keeping Baby Occupied”:

Andy and me:

Hope your Mother’s Day was just as wonderful! What did y’all do?

Wedding Pictures and Highlights

My cousin Renee, The Bride:

Hats at the Rehearsal Dinner (a Western theme, as we are here in the Southwest):

The Wedding Clowns:

Me, being Mommy:

Aunt Erin making Madeline beautiful:

Flower Girl (wearing her Plan B dress):

My Aunt Becki (Mother of the Bride), Renee, and her sister Leah (Maid of Honor):

The Bridesmaids (and Bride):

Yes, she’s very tall:

Me and Ne Ne:

Drew being Drew (look closely):

That’s better:

My immediate family:

Wedding Cake:

How Drew spent his time at the wedding:

Mr. and Mrs. Jason Thomas:

And they lived happily ever after.